Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
