I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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