The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
