haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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