Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize