in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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