Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Randomize
