Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
why didn't you poke me back
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
