I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
