Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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