If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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