Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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