If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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