Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
