Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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