love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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