If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
