This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
