What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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