Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
