please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
