so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
