I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
