i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
