So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
