she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sorry about my life...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
