I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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