so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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