If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
