and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
