Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
