You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
