are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
