Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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