yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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