I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
