we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
