it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
