Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
