return my video game
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
