New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
