I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
