the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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