Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize