Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize