let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
