Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
