It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
