We're facebook friends in real life
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
