I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
