I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think your dad took our porno
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize