Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
