what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Randomize
