I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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